Stay awake
I close my eyes, feel everything at once
Fade to grey
You put your faith on needles end
The hemlock’s in your blood
I can start to make out imprints on the floor
From months of laying still
I feel like I’ve lost all that I fought for
Getting out of bed each day still kills me
In the morning
All I think about is you
I made an army of angels in my carpet
Guardians in my living room
I don’t know why I’m not letting this go,
I spent these six months on my own
And I’ve got nothing to show for it
I don’t know why I’ve been feeling so low
And every day just seems to drone
On disappointments I can’t outgrow
And it feels like I haven’t slept in weeks
Because each time I close my eyes
I drown silent in apathy
Choke on every opportunity to be the man,
That you need me to be
Second chances, ghosts and memories
Spending hours chasing shadows between the sheets
I still see you in the retina static too
You hung yourself with the slack I gave you
You found a temporary fix
For all your problems
But it turned into a permanent solution
Now I’m dealing with the aftershock
That comes from time to time
I’m still wrestling these anxious thoughts
That haunt me in the night
I haven’t changed at all inside
I don’t know why I’m not letting this go,
I spent these six months on my own
And I’ve got nothing to show for it
I don’t know why I’ve been feeling so low
And every day just seems to drone
On disappointments I can’t outgrow
I slowly watched your best years wash away
Like a Monterey sunrise
I shouldn’t be surprised it never came
You said that this was it and that you’d
Change
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